Thursday, 19 April 2018

Some Tips for Preventing Child Rapes

Tips and suggestions on preventing sexual Abusement of children

(A special article dedicated to all the parents and their children - To prevent assaults)

  • The points are purely based on my viewpoint (my perception) of the serial events that I came across, and also based on the personal experience and observation until now. 
  • I knew that many of you might disagree with some of the points here. But, it's my kind request to take whichever seems fit to you and deny the seemingly unfit content. But, note that others would find those points to be valid which seems invalid to some of you. 
  • And, Our whole intention was to prevent women and children harassment, SOMEHOW, and I'm seriously not worried about who needs to compromise and who needs to be restricted. Restrictions is not important than a child's (and woman's) life to my eyes. I hope you understood. 
Also, I had used some abusive words in this article. Kindly don’t mind that. Try to get the purpose of using them. 

This is part of the original article - A detailed guide and tips on preventing human harassment and rapes

You can get a downloadable PDF for sharing with your friends here - 

It became very common these days to hear the news of women assaults. Sadly, the trend is moving towards the attacks on small kids too. It’s really horrible to hear those small kids of age 4-15 were ill-treated. A few years ago, we heard Delhi Rape case. And recently, an assault of an eight years old kid had come to light. The attack on the small girl was so cruel that I couldn’t stop myself from making this article. In actual, behind the screens and behind the knowledge of media and everyone, incidents like rapes are happening uncontrollably in our society. Just that many of these news are getting buried for some reasons. According to a government released data sheet – For every 15 minutes, a small girl was getting sexually abused in India. Such a pathetic situation we are in. Apart from that, we hear the news of many foreign women getting molested. Some men are cheaper than monsters that they don’t even leave old woman. While several discussion are happening and we are hearing several reasons for the increase in the attacks on women and kids, it is must that woman should take all the precautions to keep themselves safe from the monsters roaming in the form of humans.

At this juncture, you might ask why only woman should be cautious? Why only women should get all the advice? Why not we teach the men to turn them into good? Why can’t we change them rather than asking women to restrict themselves? I know you are also like me who think this way. But, let me answer you in the below paragraphs and if you feel whatever I’m saying is logical, then proceed to read the later paragraphs, else it’s up to you.

1. Why is it useless to teach men?

Let me start with a small fact. If you can answer the single question that I'm going to ask then I will agree that it should be men who need to change. We knew that a deer is one of the harmless animals in the jungle. It hardly troubles its fellow animals and thus a deer have equal rights in staying in the jungle. Say, if it encounters a hungry and thirsty lion, what will happen? What will you do? - go and demand with the lion saying that the deer have equal rights just like the lion or take the deer to a safe place such that it is far from access to the lion? which one would you choose? If you normal human with minimal commonsense, you would consider saving the deer by making it hide or escape from the lion. An unintelligent person tends to argue and speak rules in front a dead-hungry lion. Unless the lion is caged, the deer cannot be taken near to it.

Compare the situation with humans, trying to speak rules saying that women have equal rights and why women should restrict herself is like speaking rules in front of the lion. Alright, forget about the lion, lets us there are a bunch of (say 2-3) Fox/Jackles ready to hunt down the poor deer, what would you suggest? still, try to convince and make the Jackles become sane? Will you be able to turn them all into vegeterian from non-vegetarian? How foolish to think like this. Same goes for arguing why only women receive advises, why not the men be changed. Just like it's impossible to change the lion or even the Jackles to vegetarian and ask them to stay friendly with the deer, it's almost impossible to control the lustful men to stop looking at women with bad thoughts and to stop them from doing rapes for these monsters eyes were totally blinded by the desire for sex. And trust me, trying to change the sex-desiring guys is like trying to stop a hungry lion from a deer. Or, if you say you have a way of turning them into sane, then let me also hear that. I will delete all the below tips and this whole post, and will start following your path.
Or, cage all the men (just like the lions) or identify the culprits and cage them and the women are free to do whatever they wish - feminism, complete freedom - whatever they wish. The world is theirs! But is that possible to catch all the thirsty men or all the men for that matter? If this two is not possible then the best way to keep our women safe is to monitor them and/or preventing them from encountering the human-monsters. lets be pratcial than merely following theories set by someone!

No amount of marching and candle lighting would bring back the affected kid. People are protesting with the banners 'justice for the kids.' Alright, lets say the SC (supreme court) gave orders to hang the accused, will that solve the problem? will that bring back the dead child? If you can, then let me know, I will also join. Our concern now should not be on how to kill the accused. Even I have the anger of torturing till several months before they are dead, but my current focus was on how to prevent such attempts in the future. I believe, the protests, candle lights are not a solution - not the right solution. Like we try to save the deer by making it invisible to the eyes of the lion, we try to save the child by making them invisible to the eyes of the rapists. I hope you understood the concept.

The fact is only those who can curb their lustful desires by giving importance to the fellow being, especially to women, will take your advices seriously and take it into their minds. But, no matter how much you try to aware a man whose eyes are covered with lust and who seeks to fulfill his desires every time, nothing will enter into such person’s brain. Such monster has no sense of giving respect to women. To his eyes - a small kid, a school girl, a college teen, an adult, an old lady etc. are all the same - a tool to fulfill his sex desires. Regardless of what others are, his eyes are always filled with Kama (sex desire) that he sees every girl/woman with lustful eyes. Such people will always look for an opportunity to find a lonely girl or lure them into traps to ultimately fulfill their thirst for sex. Some of these cowards enjoy in groups, which is the most worrying thing. The fact is - we are surrounded by sex-desiring vampires. Their sex desire burns like fire and they won’t get satisfied with some sex attempts. To many of these human-vampires, they need everyday sex. In fact some desire to have every minute of that pleasure.

You might have noted that the culprits behind the most shocking attacks on girls are not just by uneducated men. The culprits include educated, higher officials, old people (shockingly those above 60 years also included), school/college students, and in many incidents - even by their own family members (relatives, brothers and even by father). Imagine - if even a father/brother couldn’t control his desires, how come an outer (a third person) controls his thirst? Think this carefully. The current generation is such that everything was made available easily. Many of these days movies are focused on how to attract the audience. Exposing and sex in the movies are the best ways of making them watch the movies. That’s their business. But the general public is getting affected by the movies. Hollywood and Bollywood movies are just a small part, for today - the Internet is flooded with plenty of sex videos. So, all these free resources arouse the desires in men. While few can control and put their lust in limits, many men can’t tolerate and wish to get into it. Apart from the two, the third category of men crosses their limits that they couldn’t maintain their control over themselves. To satisfy their sex desires, they are ready to do anything - even killing the assaulted victim.

Consider the incident of 2018 January Asifa’s rape and murder case. The small child of 8 years old was gang rapped for four days and was drugged. They raped her multiple times and had asked their friends too to join them to fulfill their lust. The girl was tortured for 3-4 days before she was stoned to death. The most shocking part was the involvement of 2-3 special polices in that including a retired revenue officer. This is a thinkable thing. If a government revenue office, who is aged and is retired (must be more than 60 years old) used the child to fulfill his sex desire, why wouldn’t a normal adult (between 15 to 35) do that? The aged suspect must already have had sex several times before (for sure at his home, not sure how many times he had sex outside his home), he must also be having sons and/or daughters and Asifa must be like her granddaughter. How cruel and uncontrollable! At the age of retirement, people desire to spend time with their grand children and take the path of religion. But, these sex-vampires have still got the thirst for sex. So, this single example is enough to strongly say that age is of no limit and men will have sex desire all through their life - not necessarily everyone, but just very few are sufficient to destroy the society. Hearing their news, the adult might get more dare of doing sex, for they might think - ‘when the old can’t control how can a young like me can control?’ They will thus be falsely motivated and they might not feel wrong in seducing women.

So, all the above are just to tell that - trying to teach men by making them aware won’t be much useful - given the present scenario. The stage of people hearing to good things had crossed long back. All the attempts of the religious books like Bhagavadgeetha, Kuran and Bible have very less influence on these human-vampires. If you ask me, I have to say that these men are not worth to stay with us - definitely not in this world. Naraka (hell) is the best place for them and I’m sure and I pray to god that they would be kept there until the whole universe exists. They should be tortured and should be fried in oil for several years, cut into pieces, and what not - do all kind of punishments that exists in the three worlds. They must be blown into pieces without showing even 1% of mercy. Many of you might argue that bringing awareness might help in preventing the assaults. Even I would be happy to do that provided people change. Given the above explanations, I’m not having faith that the so called sex seeking monsters would become sane men. Your expectation on them might not be to turn them into saints. But, you would expect them to turn into ‘a normal man.’ Yet, I can say that such attempts would be useless. May be 5% will try to understand why we are saying, but the rest 95% of such vampires won’t find any difference. They continue. If instead we keep our women safe, then, we can avoid 95% of the incidents. Now tell me - which one is better? 95% of women safe or aware only 5% of the vampires?

But yes - awareness is definitely needed. Turning your boy kid from the yearly stage, teaching him the importance of women and the significance of respecting women is required. Aware the kids that all the women should be treated as their own mother or sisters and should respect them as far as possible. I also wish that this kind of awareness for kids should be included in their school textbooks and should be considered as a part of their curriculum. Maybe this should work. We are trying to tune our next generation. That’s fine. But what about the current and previous generation? How can we stop them? As we had seen that it’s useless to teach the other-than-fresh minds whose minds are already filled with their own perceptions. It’s like trying to straighten the bent tail of a dog. Will a dog’s tail get straight by any chance? No right? That’s why we are here - to try to prevent incidents like rapes around us. The only option (I feel) to stay safe from these other-than-fresh minds (the sex-vampires) is by taking certain precautionary steps. It is possible only if you agree to take precautionary step rather than being adamant of arguing why, as a woman, you should live in a restrictive way instead of changing men.

If you’re like me - wishing to curb the cruel happenings around us rather than worrying about ‘who should be cautious,’ then do go through the above tips to make a safe environment to you (to your kids if you’re a parent) and to your surroundings. It’s important that you take care of your surroundings too. In fact, it’s your responsibility! So, caution people (especially females) around you to help in a better and safe world.

2. Tips on how to keep your children safe – The possible ways of preventing small girls' sexual assaults

2.1 Blindly trusting someone and leaving yourself or your kids with some trusted people. 

When I started making this article, I also texted many of my friends (girls) to get their views and to get some suggestions from them. I was really stunned to hear that many of them were once a victim of being abused when they were kids. Though not completely, but just by physical tries like rubbing legs, hands etc. I was shocked further to hear that they were abused by their close people - like uncles, friends of their parents, parents’ cousins/relatives or even by their own brothers. Though some of them might have unknowingly did that because of being immature (like a brother or small kids who got influenced by movies or by the acts of surrounding people), still it is a mistake and need to be avoided. Parents should hold the responsibility of preventing such dangerous encounters by their kids. They should take the responsibility of watching their kids all the time rather than leaving them under the control of others. 

A kid doesn’t know what is happening with her because of being immature. Her age is not enough to allow her to understand what is right and what is wrong. She can’t understand the difference between a genuine touch and a lustful touch. She is not in a position to understand the reasons behind why her private parts have been touched. Nor, does she bother telling her parents about that - for she might think that to be usual. Things might look fine by just touches, but here’s the problem - the person would go an extra mile of abusing her further. He finds enjoyment in molesting the child and so his desire to sex multiplies. That will allow the hidden vampire within him to come out. With that, he would start using the kid as his tool. The reason for the arousal of his sex desire need not necessarily be big. The desire for seducing someone might start in him just because he had accidentally (or voluntarily) seen the private parts of the girl child or because he felt the chill in his nerves when he touched the kid casually. Some men are sex-vampires that anything can happen with them - any moment. They don’t need a big reason to get sex desire. Even if they see a stone with a sari circled to it, their sex desires evokes. 

An ordinary pencil art of a woman (say in skirts or in saris) is sufficient to initiate the sex desire in such persons. And if they find some source - like a teen or even a nursery girl, then their happiness would be boundless. To these monsters, female (women, girls including small kids) are tools - Yes, you read it right. They use them as tools to fulfill their everlasting thirst. Their sex desires always burns that it’s almost useless to try to stop them rather than torturing them till their death. Everything is fine. But we are ultimately aiming at keeping the kids (yours as well as kids surrounding you) safe. So, torturing these sex-vampires should only be considered as secondary while trying to keep the kids safe (or all the women for that matter) should be our primary focus. And that’s why you, as a parent should be ever cautious in preventing your kids from running into such trouble.

2.2 Letting your kids move with men 

Letting your kids move with men (including relatives, own brothers, friends etc.) without keeping an eye on their internal intentions (if any) and not minding them when they are alone with your girl child is not advisable. Like I said, a man might get aroused sexually - anytime and any moment. And, if the person with whom a girl (or even a kid) was present, then their thoughts might go wild. Consider the recent rape case. Amid the outrageous attempts of thousands and lakhs of people striking to get a proper justice to Asifa’s death (Jammu’s Kathua case), another 7-years old girl was kidnapped from a wedding, raped brutally and was murdered in the village of Etah, Uttar Pradesh on the third week of April 2018. So, one cannot predict what can happen any moment. If you let loose your children without minding where they are, what they are doing, who are talking/luring them etc., others would take advantage of your carelessness and the result would be too dangerous. 

Even if there is only 1% of chance that your kid will come across a stranger (or even a known person whose perception is not proper), you shouldn’t neglect that. Don’t be careless and lazy in the matters of your children. Remember, when a human eye gets covered with lust, they become blind that they get ready to do anything. The society has gotten worse that these sex-desiring-vampires are having sex even with animals. For such men, the opportunity of a girl or even a kid is like a boon. So, we should be careful. Especially a mother/father should keep watch of their daughter. They should watch the kid’s surroundings. They should suspect every single soul around the kid/girl even the souls appear genuine. As a parent, you should get prepared for the worst case and think about the worst case happening. So, it’s my advice to all the parents to keep their children around them, and not let them go with any others, that easily.

2.3 Below are the safe measures from your side to keep your kids safe:

  1. Never leave your girl kids alone with someone – esp. with youngsters, even if they are relatives. Leave only with the trusted men. Keep an eye on them in between and see what they are doing.
  2. Keep questioning your child about what she plays when she goes out. Men usually seduce children in the name of games. In fact, even boys (more or less of the same age group as your kid) might indulge in such games. Your kid wouldn’t tell that to you thinking that it’s just part of the game. So, you should get the details of the game that she plays, in a casual or friendly manner. If you hear some game to be doubtful, then your next step should be on tracking the game and see if the intention of the game was seriously on something else. Track the culprit and instead of warning him, punish him by making everyone know about him (including police). That way, the person would not repeat the same with others’ children.
  3. See if the kid spends most of her time with a particular youngster (or any male for that matter). If that is the case, then, you should watch their activity without their notice. Likewise, see if a person wishes to play deliberately with her. If you find anything bad about him, then do inform to police. Don’t just leave him. Because if he is free, he will behave the same with other kids too! Don’t leave him by just warning or preventing him to reach your kid. That act will just be selfish. Instead, make him completely screwed by disclosing about him to the public.
  4. Don’t let your kids (boy or girl) expose to adult movies, videos, serials or magazines. In particular, keep the books with adult content (or the books that contains just the pics of film actress or models or anything related to women), away from the reach of children. Otherwise, you would stand as a reason behind their false growth. It’s far better to sit with them and watch cartoons rather than make them sit with you while you (or your family members) are watching worthless serials. These days - serials are showing more of love, police, egoistic characters, betrayal, cunningness etc. Instead, if you watch cartoons with them, both you as well as your kid will get relaxed. Apart from that, the cartoons (in particular the animation movies) are filled with plenty of morals, confidence boosters and humors. Let your child watch them. That’s quite better, safe, and will completely be fine.
  5. Don’t make yourself (being a mother) as the major source of spoiling your child. It is said that children’s imitate their parents in their habits, speech as well as wear. A woman strives to find more comfort, more freedom, and more trendy than men. Trust me, when I was in second class, a neighboring boy of my age would do something weird while he watches TV, that too old movies. At that time, I didn’t know what his acts meant. But, now that I’m writing this and when that flash back is recalling in my mind, I’m realizing that the boy was actually been sexually attracted to the dancing women in the old movies. Their short wears had aroused lust in him. When an 8-9 year’s boy is getting disturbed seeing a woman in half wears, imagine the condition of teens/adult. I hope you understood the importance of why you need restriction to some extent. It’s not for others; it’s for you and for your kids. Your personal interest/agenda shouldn’t be a motivator to your children.  
  6. Teach your children to be cautious and to avoid interacting with strangers. Make them by-heart (memorize) your and/or your husband/wife’s phone numbers. Don’t let your children go to public and secluded places like playgrounds, theatres etc. with youngsters. I had already explained at length about this topic previously. You had also heard several real-life examples about kids getting kidnapped and being raped brutally.
  7. Keep them far from the Internet till some age. As I had already mentioned, the Internet is completely filled with both good and bad. But, the present generation is more attracted towards the bad rather than the good. Children’s grasp the bad easily and very fast than they grasp the good. They get easily influenced to movies, and in particular to the trendy concepts as shown in Bollywood. But, can you show me any children (children I mean teens too) watching devotional channel? You will hardly find a few and the count could be made with fingers. This example should be enough to prove which part the children grasp fast. Internet is a place where they can easily access the adult content. Even if they were searching something else in the Internet, the present monetizing system and the presence of ads in the website will divert them from their actual search and would take them to some other unwanted website. And as you know, once if someone sees a tempting thing, then it’s hard to bring back their control. This is very true with kids too. Kids might find it strange to watch the adult content. Or, they might get a weird feeling of what is happening in the adult video or the picture that they came across.
  8. Restrict the type of games that they play. Mind the games that they are playing. Some games have the tendency of arousing the desire in boys. In fact, small girls might get trapped by the nature of the game that they play. Thinking that activities like being rubbed, kissed, or being made to do something else are part of the game, they enjoy taking part in such games. Some of the young adults/relatives (or even the elder ones) might make them play such games to fulfill their temporary desires. So, regardless of how much busy you’re, always keep an eye on the activities and the movements of your children. Cooking, washing, cleaning etc. always exists. You might be busy with those everyday activities. But, watching your children should also be a part of your routine. By watching I mean - like a watchman. Remember - your children’s life is more important than washing, partying, gossiping, relatives, cooking and what not - everything.
  9. Observe the changes in the habits of your children. The change in behavior of the children can be easily identifiable. Any sudden change in attitude means he/she has been influenced somewhat. The influence might be due to fellow school students, teachers, elders at home, movies, TV’s or even the one trying to seduce the child. So, if your get a doubt about their behavior, then it’s time you find the reason behind their behavioral change.
  10. Educate your kid and make her say to everyone that she tells each and everything with you and your family members. So that, even by accident if she come across a neighbor or someone who tries to lure and seduce her in the name of a game, her natural habit of saying that she shares everything with mom and dad might fear them and prevent them from making an attempt. At least this way, to some extent, you can make your kids self defensive.
  11. From the very beginning, make them learn martial arts or any other self-defensive art. A basic (normal) defensive tactics are necessary but definitely not sufficient. If you’re not willing to make them learn and spend time for classes on defensive techniques, at least make them learn some basics. Let me illustrate a real life example. Even if we’re staying in metropolitan cities - mostly flooded with sufficient electricity, we keep candles as a backup. That’s just to make sure that if in case electricity cuts down, then we can use that. In other words ‘being safe side.’ Likewise, backups and keeping ourselves in safer side is very important. Even if you think your kid might not face any trouble and even if you’re 100% sure that your kid don’t need martial and self defensive techniques, it’s required that you make your girl learn them, as a backup. Like candle is needed once in a while (during emergencies) a girl need to be self defensive if in the worst case she encounters any evil persons in a secluded place. Remember, our children’s life is more important than our own commitments. Basic defensive skills are necessary but are not sufficient though. 
  12. Be careful with the following people - tuition masters (who takes tuition at your home or at their own residence), dance, art or music teachers, yoga teachers, or any other person who conducts some teaching class to your kids, especially male trainers. Make them the habit of telling everything to you naturally. This habit in them will help you in future also - when they become mature.

Your bro
- Bhanu.

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